I went skating early this morning along the Ten Mile River Bike Path in Pawtucket. The cool fall weather was perfect for skating and I felt strong. I skated up and down the hills back and forth between Paawtucket and East Providence. After an hour I turned around and started back towards my car. As I approached a small bridge that crosses a stream I thought, this would be a really bad place to fall. There are no guard rails to prevent you from going into the water.

As I skated through the dry leaves I watched a drake and its mate swim away from the bridge. On the other side of the bridge I set my left foot down and pushed through my heel accelerating as I approached the rising slope of the next hill. I glided. I was pleased with my ability to skate well. I set my right foot down. My wheels locked and I was propelled into the air. Before I could react my arms hit the pavement first and I skidded along the pavement toward a fence. Unable to support my weight against the force of the fall my face hit the ground. As I slid I felt my permanent crown and another tooth cave in. Oh, no, I thought, I have ruined my teeth.

I stopped just inches from rail fence sprawled on my stomach with dirt in my mouth. I laid there catching my breath. Slowly I sat up. Blood was dripping from my chin and lip onto my grey sweatshirt. Stunned I stood up as I tried to think what to do. I was at least a mile from my car. Do I wait until someone passes and ask for help? I looked in the direction I was traveling and saw an old man walking towards me. I waited. He looked at me, turned his eyes away and kept walking. Can’t stay here hoping someone will help, I thought. I tried to move off. My wheels wouldn’t move. I sat down again and examined my skates. That’s when I found the stem of an oak leave stuck between the brake and the rear wheel. I removed it and stood up again. I considered removing my skates and walking. No, better to skate, I thought. It will take too long walking in my stocking feet.

I started skating slowly. A couple approached. I looked at them. They kept talking to each other and walking passed me. I sighed. My face ached. I must get myself back to the car and check my face in the mirror. I could feel that one tooth was chipped and my crown was bent. There was a cut on my lip and chin.

I would have to make it back to my car on my own. I skated slowly down the path. I saw a man in an orange velour jacket jogging. When he saw me he stopped, “What happened? Are you okay?”

I stopped and told him what had happened to me.

“Should I call someone?” he asked.

“I’m on my way back to my car,” I replied as I started rolling off.

“I’ll go with you,” the man said as he turned around to jog along side of me. “Did you hurt your head?”

I hadn’t considered that. My head and neck ached. Lucky I didn’t break it, I thought.

“You should call someone,” he said.

“I will call my husband when I get back to the car.” I replied.

“Here take my phone and call him now,” the man said.

I looked at the phone in the man’s hand. “I have my own phone,” I said. “I will call him when I get back to the car.”

“Call him now,” the man said. The man held out his phone.

Confused I reached into my pocket and removed my slim silver phone. I pressed “3”.

“Hi,” my husband said. “How was your skate?”

“I fell,” I told him. “I cut my lip and broke my tooth. I think I broke my implant. A nice man is helping me. He is coming with me to the car.”

“Let me know what happens,” Lyndon said. I could hear the worry and distress in his voice.

“Have your husband meet you at your car,” the man suggested.

“He is an hour away in Worcester,” I replied as I put my phone away.

The nice man jogged along side of me telling me about the hazards along the trail and the accidents he has either seen or heard about. I try to smile but cannot. It hurts too much.

“Twigs can be worse than pebbles,” I tried to explain.

When we reached the turn off to my car he said he would wait until I got in the car. “What’s your name?” I asked as I turned left.

“Jesus,” he said.

“Jesus,” I said as I turned towards the car, “Thank you.”

When I reached my car I saw a man on a bike stop and talk to Jesus who was nodding and gesticulating towards me. I bent down to remove my skates. When I looked up both men were gone.

A friend when she saw my face and heard my story was dismayed that three people did not stop to help me. What was wrong with them, she asked in her blog, The Cookie Momster.

Social psychologists have studied helping behavior. Before bystanders offer assistance they must first recognize that help is needed. Since I didn’t ask for help the three people who passed me by may not have realized help was needed.

Once bystanders realize an emergency exists they have to figure out what kind of help is required and whether they have the necessary resources. Jesus perhaps because of previous training and/or experience recognized I should not be left alone until it was certain that I would not collapse from a more serious and undetected head injury. He also understood that a little emotional support would ease my fear.

As I recovered from my injuries I also thought about the story of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:29 – 37). “Who,” Jesus asked, “was the good neighbor? The one who passed the wounded man by or the one who stopped?”

If we are to be good neighbors to each other we must first want to be the person who offers help to a stranger. Then we must know how to do it. It is impossible to know if the three people who passed by wanted to do the right thing and didn’t know how or if they were indifferent. All we know for sure is that the man who stopped and walked with me was the good neighbor. Ironically, his name was Jesus.

Who owns a church? Is it the people who attend services every Sunday or the people who donate the most money? Or perhaps it is the bishops and/or the denomination’s national office. What about the elderly shut-ins who gave time and money for decades when they were able? Do they own their church?

Who gets to keep the property after a schism? If the majority of a congregation disagrees with the bishop, do they get to keep the church? Why should people who left a church get to come back and take ownership? But if they left because the pastor made them uncomfortable and pushed them out wouldn’t it be just for them to get the church? But shouldn’t they have stayed and fought it out voicing their disagreement? What if the emotional price to stay was so high people had to leave to keep their sanity?

I was once told God owns a church. But what does God need a building for when he owns the whole universe? Weren’t churches built with the sweat and tears of our ancestors? So don’t we have at least tenant’s rights?

Who owns a church? We all do. The people who attend services, the people who donate time and money, the elderly, the people whose ancestors built the church, the bishops.

How do you get these people talking to each other not at each other? How do you work things out in a religious community? I am not sure. But if we say it is human nature and nothing can be done, we will never figure it out. There must be a way. We all own our churches in scared trust with God. We need to live and work together growing in faith in our churches despite our differences. No one should ever be kicked out. Church should be the home you can come back to no matter what you think and say. No matter if you are happy or sad or angry. I want church to be the place where everyone can go and feel the protective embrace of God.

I love church. That thought came to me in December 2006 while speaking to the rector at the Episcopal Church in my community. I called him. I had been following the conflict between the local diocese and his church. When a gay bishop was appointed in New England, this rector protested even though he risked losing his church. I admire his courage. He doesn’t see it as courage. He believes he has just been responding to anti-Christian forces within his own denomination. It started more than ten years ago, he said. The appointment of a gay bishop was just the culmination of a movement away from orthodox Christianity. The rector believes a national gay organization has been planning a takeover for a long time. Not because “they have any love for the church but because they can.” His love for his faith touched me. I love it, too, I thought.

I have loved church since I was small. On summer afternoons when we had little to do, my older siblings would walk me over to our parish church. Kneeling at the altar rail in the dark sanctuary I felt I was near God. Once I even thought I saw Jesus’ face in the tabernacle. Perhaps it was just the shadows of the late afternoon combining with a small child’s imagination. Or maybe it was really God. I didn’t feel scared. I was safe.

Raised in a neglectful and abusive home I became disenchanted with religion especially the Catholic Church and left. I forgot I love church. For fifteen years I didn’t go to any church. When my children reached school age I learned about Unitarian Universalism. Their claims of tolerance and support of women’s rights attracted me. I decided to raise my children as Unitarian Universalists. With my interest in religion reawakened I spent the next decade exploring my spirituality.

In 1993 the UU congregation I belonged to called a lesbian to be our minister. When I expressed some discomfort with the choice I was shunned and called a bigot. Disillusioned I left. UU’s weren’t as open and tolerant as I thought they were. Two years later I tried another UU church. I was reading books by Marcus Borg, a Bible scholar and member of the Jesus Seminar. I shared my renewed interest in Christianity with my friends at church. This threatened a woman who called herself a pagan. When I defended myself against her public attack on me, I was forced out of the congregation.

Despite everything I love church. I love the stone walls, the carved wood pews, the sunlight shinning on the cross. I love the smell of incense, the dim light of candles and the colorful vestments. I love the singing. I love the mass. In church it is like God is encircling his arms around me. No one can hurt me there. I am safe. Church inspires me to live a full, rich ethical life. I love church.

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