While I was doing a book signing at Bayshore Books in Oconto, Wisconsin, the storeowner asked me if my book bashed religion.
“No, why would you think that?” I asked.
“Because of your book’s subtitle,” she replied.
I picked up my book and read the title, “Not of My Making: Bullying, Scapegoating and Misconduct in Churches.”
“It was only after I read your back cover that I felt reassured,” the storeowner said.
“What if the subtitle was, ‘Bullying, Scapegoating and Misconduct in Schools’? Would you think I was bashing schools?” I asked.
“No,” she replied. “I would think you wanted to end bullying in schools.”
“Well, that is what I want to do in churches. I want to make them safer places for everyone.”
As I wrote some time ago, I love church. My faith in Jesus is important to me. That was what made my dechurching so devastating. Church ceased to be a safe place. I learned that there is a difference between churchianity and Christianity. I wrote my book not to bash religion but to draw attention to the problem of bullying. I want churches to create an ethos where bullying would not be tolerated and we would help each other grow in faith. I don’t want other people to be hurt the way I was. I want to help those who have been hurt by church to reclaim their faith, return to their churches and work to make them safer places.
I want connection with others. I want to grow in my faith and become a better Christian. I don’t think you can do that alone. You need to go to church. So I go every Sunday to All Saints Anglican where “real” Christianity is preached and where the majority of the congregation tries to live their faith 365 days a year.
Thank you writing this book and opening a dialogue on abuse in the churches. Apropos to what you asked the bookstore owner, it is my desire to find a way to provide shelter for those who are bullied in the schools; particularly when that behavior targets Christians. I know firsthand how this can be traumatic. Perhaps an article on “Bullying in the Schools” would be a place to begin? Well done!